My dad will always be in my heart! is the title of today's text as it has been a long time since I wrote an article about him.

1/4/21 was the day that scarred me mentally, but also emotionally, a few days before my birthday.

I never hid my dad's health issue, after all, for 4 years I shared my anxiety & anguish with everyone.

But inside I knew from the first moment that my king would leave me at some point.

On 3/31/21, the hospital informed me that my dad would be "leaving" & they were waiting for him until dawn.

I immediately went to the nurse's office & asked her to tell him:

“Dad we love you”

I felt regret that I didn't have time to say goodbye to him.

I knew it would "go away", I saw it at home & in the ambulance, I was praying for a miracle.

Once, when I met my pediatrician again after years, he told me that my dad would "leave" when I was mentally ready & had accepted it.

On 1/4/21 I ran to the hospital as they gave us a little hope, I begged the doctor to let me see him because I was tormented inside.

I held his hand and said, "Dad, we love you."

I couldn't stand it anymore, so I left. The nurse asked me if I wanted to stay longer, and I replied:

"I can't emotionally see him intubated, nor could I see my patients when they were intubated. That image always hurt me."

I returned home expecting to be taken for a briefing in the evening, but I knew he would "go away".

The doctor called me and I told her I knew what she would tell me.

He told me that he was waiting for me to say goodbye to him first & so that he could "leave".

It took me weeks to write an article about my dad, I didn't know how to say goodbye to a man who taught me that I should heal people's souls.

But unfortunately I still can't record all my feelings, I need my time to find the strength I hide within me to stand on my feet again.

I made him a promise: To help my patients get well & to always make them smile genuinely.

I have never forgotten any of my patients from all the clinics I have been to, I always remember those who got better & I always remember those who "left".

My patients have always healed my pain and I have healed theirs, after all, the walls of each clinic have heard my prayers & my cries for each of my patients.

We donated the medical and nursing supplies & everything we had left unused to a Nursing Home & the Community Pharmacy. I wanted to offer & help other people, after all, he would have wanted it too.

Have a nice trip, dad, watch over us all from above & I hope you are proud of me!

Your Tin Can

Ps: If you have lost your dad, I really don't know how to comfort you, I haven't yet found the right words to comfort me, but a piece of chocolate sweetens the pain in my heart, at least for a little while.

*My dad was Andreas P. Michaelides, Associate Professor of Cardiology - 1st Cardiology Clinic, Medical School, University of Athens, Hippocrates Hospital of Athens*

*If you want to read my other texts, come in here*